Joy's Testimony

As a child, I thought about God a lot. I wondered about Him, who He was, and if I could really pray to Him. I looked at Christians around me and decided I didn’t want what they had. It seemed hypocritical, mean-spirited, and often thoughtless when they encountered those who did not think as they did. Where was their love? I wanted none of it. On the other hand, I wanted to connect with God somehow.

When I was alone in the woods, or in my favorite treehouse, I would bring along a songbook, and sing songs to God. I would pray. I would be quiet and peaceful. One day I decided to go beyond all that. I remember I was in my room by myself and I decided that no matter what, I would give my life to God. I wouldn’t worry what other people were like. I would have my own private relationship to him. I told Him I was sorry for my sins and my wandering, and I told Him this was it for me. I was committing my life to Him. I remember getting up from my knees and feeling nine feet tall. I rushed out of my room and began to tell everyone. I was unbelievably happy. I had done what I had been holding off for years.

Other people were skeptical. That didn’t stop me. I couldn’t stop. I was bubbling over inside. Later on, the excitement cooled off. I gradually slipped away from my first joy. I grew bitter as a teenager and wanted nothing to do with God. I saw again the hypocrisy around me, and the stifling influence of the “do’s” and “don’ts.” The one bright spot was a visit from a teen who was fired up for God. He got me started memorizing scripture. Still, I needed mentoring. I needed support. I gradually let myself go even more. I left home and felt emptier than ever. I lived like this for years.

I married and had children. Friends of ours went to church and invited us. Sure, we’d try it out. We did and felt the Lord pulling us back to him. We eventually went off to Bible college and became students – me part-time and he, full-time. I again was touched beyond words to be able to study the Bible like that. I began to write poetry (bad poetry).

When we got our first church, I was working every single day doing some ministry. I loved it. This was the way to live. We continued like this for many years. I eventually had a radio program and loved hearing from women calling me back about it.

We eventually burned out though. We left the church and worked for a Christian publishing company for awhile. The place reminded me of my repressive childhood memories. We stayed a year and then left.

After a short rest, God pulled us back to ministry. He brought us to a “wide place,” with him.

Now I pray for Israel. I pray for our missionaries in India. I love teaching and sharing with my public school students who are so needy.

God has brought me full circle. I know that if you decide to turn your life over to Him, it won’t be easy, but I tell you, you won’t regret it. You’ll have a Helper and a friend. Through thick and thin, you’ll make it with this Person by your side.